Sunday, November 9, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Judge By Outlook???
Different people will have different style to dress themselves up, which we call that different fashion. In fact, actually can we really judge someone's personality or behavior based on their outlook?? For me, definitely NO, but a lot of people will still always judge someone good or bad based on their outlook.
As an example, those who dye their hair with some shinning colour such as light blue, light purple or so on, those people will always have a statement in their mind that these are bad peoples. Same as those guys who have a ear hole, some people especially the older generation will also think that guys who wear ear rings is abnormal; therefore they are bad as well. Actually, why girls wear ear ring is normal but why guys wear is abnormal??
In my opinion, how a person dress up or make up is just about his or her interest and also sense of fashion. Yes, through the way someone make up, we can actually know that they are fashionable or not, but definitely not judging their personality. The only possible way to judge someone's personality or behavior can only be a deep communication which helps us to understand that person more. As a result, communication will always the best way to know someone rather than the outlook itself.
Posted By: KokChin
As an example, those who dye their hair with some shinning colour such as light blue, light purple or so on, those people will always have a statement in their mind that these are bad peoples. Same as those guys who have a ear hole, some people especially the older generation will also think that guys who wear ear rings is abnormal; therefore they are bad as well. Actually, why girls wear ear ring is normal but why guys wear is abnormal??
In my opinion, how a person dress up or make up is just about his or her interest and also sense of fashion. Yes, through the way someone make up, we can actually know that they are fashionable or not, but definitely not judging their personality. The only possible way to judge someone's personality or behavior can only be a deep communication which helps us to understand that person more. As a result, communication will always the best way to know someone rather than the outlook itself.
Posted By: KokChin
Wrong Prediction
We, human will always have our very own thinking, but can we guarantee that what we think will always be right?? I am sure that no one in the world could guarantee this. However, we will still have our very own prediction on certain subject or situation, and most of the time will assume that our prediction will be right even though there is no any solid evidence to support our prediction.
I used to have a friend, we were really close as we always share our private stuff together and our common way to communicate with each other through cell phone messages because we can't always meet each other. Sadly, things have change now. Our relationship clearly turn bad compare to last time. We are still friend but we didn't really share our things anymore, so the topic between us is getting lesser and lesser.
This happened actually because the wrong prediction between both of us. As I say last time we always send message to each other, now it turned to be less. The wrong prediction i mean is that both of us thought the opposition don't really want to continue SMS. For me, I have such prediction because sometimes the way my friend reply is slow and the message is much more short compare to last time. This continue to be my prediction until few days before one of my friend told me about our relationship. She told me that actually the closed friend of mine also have the same prediction which thought I not willing to continue our message. I felt so regret and silly to have such prediction before that that affect our relationship.
The main point I wanted to bring out here is that sometimes the wrong prediction we have in our mind can really bring out various type of negative effects. Why not we try to communicate more by expressing what we think out rather than predicting by ourselves?? For me, communicating is definitely better than predicting now.
Posted By: KokChin
I used to have a friend, we were really close as we always share our private stuff together and our common way to communicate with each other through cell phone messages because we can't always meet each other. Sadly, things have change now. Our relationship clearly turn bad compare to last time. We are still friend but we didn't really share our things anymore, so the topic between us is getting lesser and lesser.
This happened actually because the wrong prediction between both of us. As I say last time we always send message to each other, now it turned to be less. The wrong prediction i mean is that both of us thought the opposition don't really want to continue SMS. For me, I have such prediction because sometimes the way my friend reply is slow and the message is much more short compare to last time. This continue to be my prediction until few days before one of my friend told me about our relationship. She told me that actually the closed friend of mine also have the same prediction which thought I not willing to continue our message. I felt so regret and silly to have such prediction before that that affect our relationship.
The main point I wanted to bring out here is that sometimes the wrong prediction we have in our mind can really bring out various type of negative effects. Why not we try to communicate more by expressing what we think out rather than predicting by ourselves?? For me, communicating is definitely better than predicting now.
Posted By: KokChin
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Haunting of Molly Hartley....
The movie of the year....
The movie you'll never want to miss...
Hatred or jealous?
Do you?
Molly (Haley Bennett) is a 17 year old girl who has physically recovered from a stab wound inflicted by her mother, but the psychological scars that remain run deep. To help her begin a new life after her trauma, her father has moved her into a new school. With her eighteenth birthday approaching, Molly is haunted by nightmares of her mother's attack upon her while dealing with the stress of being the new girl in school. Symptoms of psychosis that seem to be affecting her seem to foreshadow an onset of the mental illness that took control of her mother's life, but of several different explanations for her distress, the most unforeseen and terrifying is revealed as the truth. Ultimately, Molly discovers that her mother and others who share her mother's concerns want her killed in order to save her from a preordained life as a servant of the Devil.
The movie you'll never want to miss...
Hatred or jealous?
Do you?
Molly (Haley Bennett) is a 17 year old girl who has physically recovered from a stab wound inflicted by her mother, but the psychological scars that remain run deep. To help her begin a new life after her trauma, her father has moved her into a new school. With her eighteenth birthday approaching, Molly is haunted by nightmares of her mother's attack upon her while dealing with the stress of being the new girl in school. Symptoms of psychosis that seem to be affecting her seem to foreshadow an onset of the mental illness that took control of her mother's life, but of several different explanations for her distress, the most unforeseen and terrifying is revealed as the truth. Ultimately, Molly discovers that her mother and others who share her mother's concerns want her killed in order to save her from a preordained life as a servant of the Devil.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Who are we to you?
Malaysian Today...the newspaper I'll grab every single morning the moment I walk into lower foyer. "We RAPED Our Friend's Fiancee...Youth Crime On The Rise" That's what caught my attention. I agree with the writer...'When Youth go bad, Who's to blame?...If you can't care for your own kids, DONT HAVE ANY!' Seriously, what for you earn the world by letting go your own kids?!! Your kids don't JUST steal, JUST accidentally raped or even killed someone! A lots of crime were committed by youths nowadays; drugs addicted robbery, rape even murder.
We all know who to go to when the kids' in trouble: their parents. BUT, Where were they when their kids were stealing something from the neighbourhood? were raping innocence girls?! were bitten someone who did nothing to them?!! were...killing someone just for teh sick of fun?!!! Parents, can give the world to their kids but ...not LOVE. I always jealous to those kids who have family day at every sunday...I never had one. What so proud if you come from a rich family? Being alone in the BIG house with maids only...should that be what kids deserve? MONEY CAN't BE EVERYTING! I admired some of my friends who can tell everything to their parents...Apparently, I can't. I don't even know to start the conversation and my mum doesn't seems care about my daily life. Yea, it might sounds silly but seriously...and i believe a lot of youths faced the similar obstacles today.
Sometimes, all we need is just our parents being there for for us, support us...thats all...however, its seems too difficult for the adults...
" How your children turn out is how the parents rear or treat them when they are young..." Said by Dr. Toeh Hsien-Jin. We, can't not communicate. Why don't spent some time talk with your kids? Yea, earning money is important but...your kids is important too! Start caring for your kids, you can make a differents.
XOXO, Phoebe's here, your sources to understand 'human' around you.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
"Where's your Gang?"
Its been a"a while" i didn't post anything due to the...my heart attack from mid-term. hahaha... anyway, hey people, its nice to come back from hospital!
I'm sure you do know what's a "gang" right? Me and my friends kinda have this 'culture' to call each other as in a gang. I had human com classes about group. So, the proper meaning for 'gang' should be group. Why did i use 'gang' but not group? Because it sounds cool when I said "hey, where my gang?" than "hey, where my group?".... hahahaha....nah! The reason why I call it gang its because this few people always hang out together. Let say, whenever you see me, you'll see the rest's with me. Of course, those always hang out together are normally buddies and they interact to each other more than to anyone else outside the circle. At the same time, they understand each other very well. So when it comes to grouping for assignments and reports, they'll stick as a group too. Because of knowing each other so well, they can simply finish the task faster than others group. Between that, they might have conflicts but its actually GOOD for a group to have that because it help you to improve your relationship and efficiency of your works. Conflicts are not always negative, it could be positive too.
Buddies don't ave to always TALK to show that you 'so love' your friends and you keep telling others that these gang of people are my buddies. **BLUR**...your friends know whether you're seriously like to be friends with them or you're just a faker. But how? Did you ever plan a secret birthday for your friends? Ever help them doing stuffs by not letting them to know? Comfort them when they're upset? Give advise ir even help them when they're in trouble? This is so-called the nonverbal communication. Your action, reaction and ect to what happen to our friend.
On the other hand, you and your buddies have your own hand-shake? Yea, thats one of the sign that shows you guys are buddies. Anotehr one is eye-contact. Have you ever send messages throught your eyes to your friends under a situation that you both can't speak? I had! And I'm glad we both understand each others' messages. However, the rest around us don't get it at all. I think, it needs efforts to... you know , get it.
XOXO, Phoebe's here, your sources to understand 'human' around you.
I'm sure you do know what's a "gang" right? Me and my friends kinda have this 'culture' to call each other as in a gang. I had human com classes about group. So, the proper meaning for 'gang' should be group. Why did i use 'gang' but not group? Because it sounds cool when I said "hey, where my gang?" than "hey, where my group?".... hahahaha....nah! The reason why I call it gang its because this few people always hang out together. Let say, whenever you see me, you'll see the rest's with me. Of course, those always hang out together are normally buddies and they interact to each other more than to anyone else outside the circle. At the same time, they understand each other very well. So when it comes to grouping for assignments and reports, they'll stick as a group too. Because of knowing each other so well, they can simply finish the task faster than others group. Between that, they might have conflicts but its actually GOOD for a group to have that because it help you to improve your relationship and efficiency of your works. Conflicts are not always negative, it could be positive too.
Buddies don't ave to always TALK to show that you 'so love' your friends and you keep telling others that these gang of people are my buddies. **BLUR**...your friends know whether you're seriously like to be friends with them or you're just a faker. But how? Did you ever plan a secret birthday for your friends? Ever help them doing stuffs by not letting them to know? Comfort them when they're upset? Give advise ir even help them when they're in trouble? This is so-called the nonverbal communication. Your action, reaction and ect to what happen to our friend.
On the other hand, you and your buddies have your own hand-shake? Yea, thats one of the sign that shows you guys are buddies. Anotehr one is eye-contact. Have you ever send messages throught your eyes to your friends under a situation that you both can't speak? I had! And I'm glad we both understand each others' messages. However, the rest around us don't get it at all. I think, it needs efforts to... you know , get it.
XOXO, Phoebe's here, your sources to understand 'human' around you.
leadership camp
i went to HELP's leadership camp over the weekend. it was really fun and i learned a lot of things. one of those things are communication related.
firstly, i was grouped with nine other people of which seven i didnt know. so we had to get to know each other fast as we had to work with each other for the next three days. im happy to say that i think my group worked pretty well with each other. we all listened to each other's opinions and gave our own, and communication between all of us was smooth. my group leader was very attentive to other member's needs, and made sure each of us had a chance to voice our opinions.
the first night there we had an activity called 'solo drop' where we were left in the jungle alone for some time. actually it's not really alone, everyone else is just a distance away but in the darkness, one cannot see. so anyway, before going into the jungle our camp facilitator briefed us one certain things. one of the issue he highlighted was the presence of natives because the jungle trail we were gonna go on borders the natives territory and they come out at night to hunt, so some of us might encounter them.
the facilitator thus told us that if that happens, they may smile at us. he asked us then what we should do. most of us answered smile back, because that was courtesy. but however, he told us never never to smile back because we don't know what a smile means to them. we may think it's courtesy, but they may think otherwise. so this experience taught me that what comes naturally to us, i.e smiling at those who smile at us may not apply to all territories and that we should becareful when threading unfamilar ground.
none of us came across natives though....
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
firstly, i was grouped with nine other people of which seven i didnt know. so we had to get to know each other fast as we had to work with each other for the next three days. im happy to say that i think my group worked pretty well with each other. we all listened to each other's opinions and gave our own, and communication between all of us was smooth. my group leader was very attentive to other member's needs, and made sure each of us had a chance to voice our opinions.
the first night there we had an activity called 'solo drop' where we were left in the jungle alone for some time. actually it's not really alone, everyone else is just a distance away but in the darkness, one cannot see. so anyway, before going into the jungle our camp facilitator briefed us one certain things. one of the issue he highlighted was the presence of natives because the jungle trail we were gonna go on borders the natives territory and they come out at night to hunt, so some of us might encounter them.
the facilitator thus told us that if that happens, they may smile at us. he asked us then what we should do. most of us answered smile back, because that was courtesy. but however, he told us never never to smile back because we don't know what a smile means to them. we may think it's courtesy, but they may think otherwise. so this experience taught me that what comes naturally to us, i.e smiling at those who smile at us may not apply to all territories and that we should becareful when threading unfamilar ground.
none of us came across natives though....
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
sending email or face-to-face talk better?
In today's well-connected world, hi-tech gadgets and gizmos can help us communicate more easily. Technology has made communication nearly instantaneous, incredibly convenient and enormously accessible. But has it somehow made us less effective communicators? Should we monitor our method of communication more carefully? Does it really affect our messages?
my answer is YES. this is because when it comes to resolving broken promises, violated expectations or bad behavior with someone at work, resorting to hi-tech methods like e-mail, voice mail or text messages can amplify our problems. Anytime non-verbal signals are important in deciphering the message, the news is particularly bad or sensitive, negative feedback is being delivered or differing opinions will ensue, face-to-face communication is a must.
For example, when letting someone go, you treat the bad news as bad news. You allow the other person to show their concern and emotions.
my answer is YES. this is because when it comes to resolving broken promises, violated expectations or bad behavior with someone at work, resorting to hi-tech methods like e-mail, voice mail or text messages can amplify our problems. Anytime non-verbal signals are important in deciphering the message, the news is particularly bad or sensitive, negative feedback is being delivered or differing opinions will ensue, face-to-face communication is a must.
For example, when letting someone go, you treat the bad news as bad news. You allow the other person to show their concern and emotions.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
A Little Effort May Be A Turning Point
Sometimes we just need to have a small step out, and it will really make a huge difference. However, there are always peoples that didn't do so, included me.
During my secondary school time, i actually have two really close friend. Unfortunately, with two really silly little conflict, we didn't talk to each other since the year end of form 3 until the beginning of this year. Actually in between, a lot of friend try to gather us together to recover our friendship, but no one willing to start the conversation, as what i mentioned which was only a small step out. In fact, this causes our friendship of more than two years. Although we are friends again now, the quality of our friendship is not as good as last time.
Both the conflict actually quite similar, which is both also related to competitions. One was a volleyball competition and the latter was a football competition. Both happen during the trip for the competition. Now, I will always think back of this two incident and ask myself why will i start this conflict and why don't I do little bit more after that and get our friendship recovered as soon as possible. I will always feel so regret that is causes two of my best friendship. As a result, now i will always try my very best to avoid any conflict with peoples.
This two incident actually shows us that sometimes, we will only need to do little bit more, and the effect will be totally different. For me, if one of us started a communication or conversation that time, the quality of our friendship will definitely much more better now. Therefore, put in effort while it is necessary to avoid any regrets in future, it could be a significant turning point.
Posted By: KokChin
During my secondary school time, i actually have two really close friend. Unfortunately, with two really silly little conflict, we didn't talk to each other since the year end of form 3 until the beginning of this year. Actually in between, a lot of friend try to gather us together to recover our friendship, but no one willing to start the conversation, as what i mentioned which was only a small step out. In fact, this causes our friendship of more than two years. Although we are friends again now, the quality of our friendship is not as good as last time.
Both the conflict actually quite similar, which is both also related to competitions. One was a volleyball competition and the latter was a football competition. Both happen during the trip for the competition. Now, I will always think back of this two incident and ask myself why will i start this conflict and why don't I do little bit more after that and get our friendship recovered as soon as possible. I will always feel so regret that is causes two of my best friendship. As a result, now i will always try my very best to avoid any conflict with peoples.
This two incident actually shows us that sometimes, we will only need to do little bit more, and the effect will be totally different. For me, if one of us started a communication or conversation that time, the quality of our friendship will definitely much more better now. Therefore, put in effort while it is necessary to avoid any regrets in future, it could be a significant turning point.
Posted By: KokChin
Sports Carnival
Today is our college's sports carnival day. I represented hmc to play in the volleyball. What a exhausted and interesting day!!! Basically, my team contains only 6 player, which is 3 male n female each, therefore we can't afford to have any substitution like other teams as we are just enough of players.
As my teammates and I didn't really play together before and few of them i even know them just today, so at first we start introduce ourselves first. Then later on we started to discus a bit on the strategy. Between we had deal that each one will have to shout out loudly " Let Go" whenever he or she intend to take ball so that no miscommunication will happen like two fighting for a ball. Try imagine if we don't have this strategy, how can we control the ball well? In fact, this strategy really work for us, as we manage to enter the semifinals. Due to the fact that we don't have any substitution, our energy started to run off, especially the girls. Therefore, during the semifinal match, which was the hottest time at 12 something, our performances were affected. Some miscommunication happened as some forgotten to shout for the ball and it caused us losing points. At first we were like standing inside the court for losing only, but it didn't lasted long, we started to cheer each other up. Finally, the gap were closer as we started to catch up. However we still lost, but we were really happy with our late performances.
This show us that communication can really make a point in a game. It could help us when to avoid miscommunication in between and also useful when we facing some negative situation.
Posted By: KokChin
As my teammates and I didn't really play together before and few of them i even know them just today, so at first we start introduce ourselves first. Then later on we started to discus a bit on the strategy. Between we had deal that each one will have to shout out loudly " Let Go" whenever he or she intend to take ball so that no miscommunication will happen like two fighting for a ball. Try imagine if we don't have this strategy, how can we control the ball well? In fact, this strategy really work for us, as we manage to enter the semifinals. Due to the fact that we don't have any substitution, our energy started to run off, especially the girls. Therefore, during the semifinal match, which was the hottest time at 12 something, our performances were affected. Some miscommunication happened as some forgotten to shout for the ball and it caused us losing points. At first we were like standing inside the court for losing only, but it didn't lasted long, we started to cheer each other up. Finally, the gap were closer as we started to catch up. However we still lost, but we were really happy with our late performances.
This show us that communication can really make a point in a game. It could help us when to avoid miscommunication in between and also useful when we facing some negative situation.
Posted By: KokChin
Friday, October 17, 2008
communication
communication is very important in a relationship. i recently read a novel, At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks that showed this clearly.
in the story, Jeremy and Lexie are a couple about to be married despite only knowing each other for about a week. but they convinced that they love each other and that's all that mattered. Jeremy was a city dweller, while Lexie was a southern girl and to make the marriage work, Jeremy decided to move to Lexie's town.
the problem starts when Jeremy starts receiving strange anonymous e-mail messages that made him doubt certain things within his relationship with Lexie. what adds to that is he saw her with her ex-boyfriend holding hands. however, he does not confront her about this because he wants to trust her.
but when things got worse and Lexie herself seemed to be denying that she had been with her ex when Jeremy saw them, he could take no more. while Lexie believed she didnt have to tell him everything about herself, she finally realized through speaking with her grandmother that there needs to be trust between two people making this commitment to each other.
so in the end, Lexie sat Jeremy to talk and she found out things he wasnt telling her and vice versa.
i haven't actually finished the book, but up till where i have, i realized that they could have avoided all the hurt and pain they caused each other if from the start they didnt hide things from each other and communicated their worries.
so, its important to communicate in a relationship even though you may think you know the other person through and through.
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
in the story, Jeremy and Lexie are a couple about to be married despite only knowing each other for about a week. but they convinced that they love each other and that's all that mattered. Jeremy was a city dweller, while Lexie was a southern girl and to make the marriage work, Jeremy decided to move to Lexie's town.
the problem starts when Jeremy starts receiving strange anonymous e-mail messages that made him doubt certain things within his relationship with Lexie. what adds to that is he saw her with her ex-boyfriend holding hands. however, he does not confront her about this because he wants to trust her.
but when things got worse and Lexie herself seemed to be denying that she had been with her ex when Jeremy saw them, he could take no more. while Lexie believed she didnt have to tell him everything about herself, she finally realized through speaking with her grandmother that there needs to be trust between two people making this commitment to each other.
so in the end, Lexie sat Jeremy to talk and she found out things he wasnt telling her and vice versa.
i haven't actually finished the book, but up till where i have, i realized that they could have avoided all the hurt and pain they caused each other if from the start they didnt hide things from each other and communicated their worries.
so, its important to communicate in a relationship even though you may think you know the other person through and through.
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Communication Under Noisiness
The noisiness I mean is not that few peoples are talking around so that there are noises around. What i mean is actually the noises are loud under we could hardly listen to what the person, which is sitting right beside or opposite us speaks. For instance, Disco.
I did went to disco before. The moment i went in, the feel is totally different, even my heart bit become a rocket compare to outside. The music there were so loud until my friend who is standing right beside me could not heard what I ask him at all. The question was "what drinks should we order?". More than 5times i had asked him, but he still didn't get my words. Finally, i need to take up a bottle and point to my mouth, only he understand, then we discus for another 15minutes to order because our communication later on were also need lots of action to let each of us to understand.
Right now, I am actually surfing the net in McDonald. Today, the situation is very much different than other days I come. There is a gang of kids around and 1 of them is the birthday boy i guess because there is a cake around. Why i mention this in my blog is actually because the situation is related to my topic. The kids is switching on some music and the volume is really really big. In fact, this actually be the barrier for me to talk with my friends beside me, so we could only change our communication style which is make use of the wireless here at McD and chat online.
I know it is weird to do this as we are sitting right beside each other, but it is the only way at the moment.
These situations actually shows us that we should try on different ways to communicate when there are some special issues around us that could be the distraction towards our No.1 style of communication which is TALK, so that we could still communicate without talking.
Posted By: KokChin
I did went to disco before. The moment i went in, the feel is totally different, even my heart bit become a rocket compare to outside. The music there were so loud until my friend who is standing right beside me could not heard what I ask him at all. The question was "what drinks should we order?". More than 5times i had asked him, but he still didn't get my words. Finally, i need to take up a bottle and point to my mouth, only he understand, then we discus for another 15minutes to order because our communication later on were also need lots of action to let each of us to understand.
Right now, I am actually surfing the net in McDonald. Today, the situation is very much different than other days I come. There is a gang of kids around and 1 of them is the birthday boy i guess because there is a cake around. Why i mention this in my blog is actually because the situation is related to my topic. The kids is switching on some music and the volume is really really big. In fact, this actually be the barrier for me to talk with my friends beside me, so we could only change our communication style which is make use of the wireless here at McD and chat online.
I know it is weird to do this as we are sitting right beside each other, but it is the only way at the moment.
These situations actually shows us that we should try on different ways to communicate when there are some special issues around us that could be the distraction towards our No.1 style of communication which is TALK, so that we could still communicate without talking.
Posted By: KokChin
Special Occasion Special Communication
There are so many days in a year, it is impossible that every day will be the same and always be normal. I am sure there will be at least a few special occasion within a year, such as birthday, valentine day, ghost festival and so on...During such special occasion, definitely our topic for communication will be much more different and hopefully interesting right?
As an example, when someone birthday, you will wish her or him Happy Birthday. Normal day it is weird if we wish someone Happy Birthday but actually is not. While during Valentine day, couples will definitely have some special celebration, and another special thing is that the conversation them will definitely be more romantic and sweet compare to normal days. During ghost festival, a lot of people don't dare to go out at night as they believe that the ghost will come out during night time on that day and some even will ask others not to simply say things to avoid provoking the ghost.
Three weeks ago, one of my best friend celebrated his 2 years anniversary with his girl friend, so the whole gang of us went out together to celebrate. During the celebration, we all were really happy, especially both the main character and also the topics that we chat that day were also basically focusing on both of them. By the end of the celebration, my friend suddenly take out a branded handbag and give it to her girl friend because she really addicted to handbags. When she saw it, she was really surprised and said thank you with a really different expression compare to her normal expression.
As a conclusion, the communication will be much more different compare to the normal days according to different special occasions. These will actually make our life more interesting and more cheerful.
Posted By: KokChin
As an example, when someone birthday, you will wish her or him Happy Birthday. Normal day it is weird if we wish someone Happy Birthday but actually is not. While during Valentine day, couples will definitely have some special celebration, and another special thing is that the conversation them will definitely be more romantic and sweet compare to normal days. During ghost festival, a lot of people don't dare to go out at night as they believe that the ghost will come out during night time on that day and some even will ask others not to simply say things to avoid provoking the ghost.
Three weeks ago, one of my best friend celebrated his 2 years anniversary with his girl friend, so the whole gang of us went out together to celebrate. During the celebration, we all were really happy, especially both the main character and also the topics that we chat that day were also basically focusing on both of them. By the end of the celebration, my friend suddenly take out a branded handbag and give it to her girl friend because she really addicted to handbags. When she saw it, she was really surprised and said thank you with a really different expression compare to her normal expression.
As a conclusion, the communication will be much more different compare to the normal days according to different special occasions. These will actually make our life more interesting and more cheerful.
Posted By: KokChin
Friday, October 10, 2008
indicate the change in topics...
i wanna relate something strange and funny that happened to me today, of course having to do with communication. this happened between me and a friend(i hope she's not reading this...)
i was walking with her through the hallways in college, when we spotted a guy and a girl standing at the side. my friend knew the girl, and they greeted each other before we walked pass. after that, my friend told me if i saw the girl do something weird. although i do not know how to explain it here, i did in fact thought that the girl behaved weirdly when she saw my friend and me. and so my friend then tried to explain what she apparently saw, which i didnt.
we kept talking about that as we walked the length of the hallway, until we reached somewhere around LS 7. then she said something about the guy being the girl's brother. i obviously thought that she was still talking about the couple we saw earlier as she gave no indication that the topic changed. so i was a bit puzzled when she said that the guy was the girl's brother, because they were of different race. not to say that's its impossible...but at that time i found it unlikely.
so my friend went on to say that they look alike, but perhaps they're boyfriend and girlfriend. by now, i was more than confused. but i corresponded by saying that if they are boyfriend and girlfriend, the 'weird' thing that the girl supposedly did should mean nothing. at this point she gave me a look, and i immediately knew something was wrong. then she asked me what i was talking about, before realizing it by herself. after that, she finally made things clear.
she was actually talking about a couple who walked pass us at LS 7, not the couple we saw earlier. however, she never gave any, i mean ANY indication that the topic changed, so i continued to assume that she was talking about the earlier couple. we laughed about it, then she said to get back to the main topic. this time, i made sure to ask what main topic she meant.
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
i was walking with her through the hallways in college, when we spotted a guy and a girl standing at the side. my friend knew the girl, and they greeted each other before we walked pass. after that, my friend told me if i saw the girl do something weird. although i do not know how to explain it here, i did in fact thought that the girl behaved weirdly when she saw my friend and me. and so my friend then tried to explain what she apparently saw, which i didnt.
we kept talking about that as we walked the length of the hallway, until we reached somewhere around LS 7. then she said something about the guy being the girl's brother. i obviously thought that she was still talking about the couple we saw earlier as she gave no indication that the topic changed. so i was a bit puzzled when she said that the guy was the girl's brother, because they were of different race. not to say that's its impossible...but at that time i found it unlikely.
so my friend went on to say that they look alike, but perhaps they're boyfriend and girlfriend. by now, i was more than confused. but i corresponded by saying that if they are boyfriend and girlfriend, the 'weird' thing that the girl supposedly did should mean nothing. at this point she gave me a look, and i immediately knew something was wrong. then she asked me what i was talking about, before realizing it by herself. after that, she finally made things clear.
she was actually talking about a couple who walked pass us at LS 7, not the couple we saw earlier. however, she never gave any, i mean ANY indication that the topic changed, so i continued to assume that she was talking about the earlier couple. we laughed about it, then she said to get back to the main topic. this time, i made sure to ask what main topic she meant.
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
Stage fright II
Owh...Poor kid...I don't think we're that worse right? But still need help?
okay check out the next one ...
How to become calm instanly when you're nerve broken down during public speaking/presentation...
Stage fright...
XOXO Phoebe here your sources to understand 'human around you.
Our blog its kinda...'dead'...since last Sunday. Maybe because of presentations, assignments and stuffs. Anyway, as you know from the title I'm going to talk about stage fear.
Stage fright or performance anxiety refers to an anxiety, fear or persistent phobia related to performance in front of an audience or camera. In the context of public speaking, this is known as glossophobia , one of the most common phobias. This form of anxiety can precede or accompany participation in any activity involving public self-presentation. -According to Wikipedia
I kinda do some "interviews" among my friends and asked them why so nervous about presentation. Mostly, the answer is "Don't know la, just scare of people." How can we 'scare of people' we know? I mean during presentation, thats all our friends right? Yea, I suppose tell this to myself during my presentations. Haiz...those who's in my human com presentation will know what I'm talking about la. Everything should works out nicely cause I've already practice many times. But somehow,I don't know why my heart beats so fast, forehead kept on sweating,right hand and left leg kept on shaking while waiting for my turn to present. Then when I'm about to start, my mind just go "BLIND". I don't know what to say, what to do. The whole presentation, I was totally LOST!!! I guess its like some kind of chemistry or whatever psychology department in my body tells me that I'm nervous and I go and listen to them. From calming and chilling, turn to nervous and anxious. Then I just screwed my presentation. Honestly, I almost cry out but then I still didn't let my emotional lead me, means I'm still conscious but not for 100%.
After chilling and everything get normal, I was thinking why am I so ... you know. I remember that I wasn't that scare at my last sem presentations. So, I kept on thinking for a reason. I "preview" back my memory and try to figure what happened during my presentation. SUDDENLY... I think I find out whats wrong with me.
Firstly, before the presentation. I'm nervous and scare because I feel uncertain as to whether I will do well or not. I'm sure everyone do think like that right? We tend to think that how to do to gain more marks, how to present to make it more interesting, how to use special words and etc. then we'll worry about is these okay? is that okay? Should I just...? Do I need to...? Millions of tiny matters run through our minds before our presentations.
Then, during the presentation. I'm lost,anxious, worried... because I kept on worried about how others judge me, my friends, outsiders, and especially my lecturer who give me marks based on my presentation! I'm worry of can others understand what am I talking or not. Are people listening? Is everything going under my control? Why people are talking? Are they interested on my topic? And I ended up...LOST in the middle of my presentation. Plus, with people's "scary eyes" all looking at you, you'll felt like dig a hole and stuck yourself inside there. Yea, so thats my sharing. I think there's only one way to solve this, which is do not let your mentally tells you what to do. Do not let your feelings lead you. Just think rationally and speak/deliver what every message you have to. That's it!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
365 days for a student?! Definitely not enough!!!!
XOXO, Phoebe here your sources to understand 'human' around you... just checked my mail, and someone sent me this, check this out, funny and its VERY TRUE!!!
It's not the fault of student if
he/she fails because the year ONLY
has 365 days...
typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep - 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) - means 30 days.
Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) - means 15 days.
Days left 81.
7. Exam days - per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days.
Days left 6.
9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Days left 3.
10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.
1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day ?!?!?!?!?!
Balance = 0
' How can a student pass ?????'
It's not the fault of student if
he/she fails because the year ONLY
has 365 days...
typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep - 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) - means 30 days.
Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) - means 15 days.
Days left 81.
7. Exam days - per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days.
Days left 6.
9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Days left 3.
10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.
1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day ?!?!?!?!?!
Balance = 0
' How can a student pass ?????'
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Long Distance Love
Can long distance love really last??? The long distance love i mean is actually a couple which is separated by different country, not those which is only different state, as in my opinion, those which is in the same country but different state is still ok, at least they are still within the same country and similar environment, especially for Malaysia, as it is not a big country.
I do have a friend that having a girl friend that further her study at Australia. Recently, they have just broken up. They have been a couple for almost a year in Malaysia. When they were forced to separate due to the study stuff, they maintain their relationship for another 7months, but unfortunately, they still ended by breaking up. Many of us actually feel that it was unworthy that they ended up in such way, but nothing can be done.
In my opinion, every couple actually needs a really good communication between them to enable them to maintain their relationship. A good communication could help them to understand each other more. Try imagine, when you are in local while your girl friend were located at overseas, can you 2 still maintain the good communication between you 2?? Yes! it's true that you could still communicate through telephone or online chatting, but will it really as useful as face to face communicating?? One of the major disadvantages will definitely come to the different environment. Everything happening around both will be totally different, even one could tell the other one that what's happening around them but it is still difficult to totally understand on what one side is trying to say because of the different environment. We could hardly understand the situation when we don't really feel the environment before. Therefore, as time passes, the topic to communicate between the couple will actually getting lesser and lesser. As this happen, the understanding between the couple will be getting shallow and shallow as well. Misunderstanding that will affect a couple's relationship will easily occurs during that time.
As a conclusion, i feel that long distance love is really difficult to maintain, even long distance friendship is not that easy to maintain. Therefore, try to avoid to separate with your beloved one too far for a long period to avoid any negative situation especially communication problem. Anyway, i couldn't say that long distance love definitely cannot be maintain as nothing is impossible in this world, just try to avoid this happen if it is possible.
Posted By: KokChin
I do have a friend that having a girl friend that further her study at Australia. Recently, they have just broken up. They have been a couple for almost a year in Malaysia. When they were forced to separate due to the study stuff, they maintain their relationship for another 7months, but unfortunately, they still ended by breaking up. Many of us actually feel that it was unworthy that they ended up in such way, but nothing can be done.
In my opinion, every couple actually needs a really good communication between them to enable them to maintain their relationship. A good communication could help them to understand each other more. Try imagine, when you are in local while your girl friend were located at overseas, can you 2 still maintain the good communication between you 2?? Yes! it's true that you could still communicate through telephone or online chatting, but will it really as useful as face to face communicating?? One of the major disadvantages will definitely come to the different environment. Everything happening around both will be totally different, even one could tell the other one that what's happening around them but it is still difficult to totally understand on what one side is trying to say because of the different environment. We could hardly understand the situation when we don't really feel the environment before. Therefore, as time passes, the topic to communicate between the couple will actually getting lesser and lesser. As this happen, the understanding between the couple will be getting shallow and shallow as well. Misunderstanding that will affect a couple's relationship will easily occurs during that time.
As a conclusion, i feel that long distance love is really difficult to maintain, even long distance friendship is not that easy to maintain. Therefore, try to avoid to separate with your beloved one too far for a long period to avoid any negative situation especially communication problem. Anyway, i couldn't say that long distance love definitely cannot be maintain as nothing is impossible in this world, just try to avoid this happen if it is possible.
Posted By: KokChin
Friday, October 3, 2008
MY GANG
During my secondary school days. I used to have a gang of close friend. There are 7 of us. We are always together, no matter in school or outside. Actually our friendship started to be really close was during form 4. All 7 of us were chosen to be the board of director of the Leo Club of our school for the fiscal year 06/07. Therefore, we were always gathered together to organize functions and having meetings for our club. During that time, there was really a lot communication between us. In fact, we actually understand and know each other well.
Time flies, our secondary school life had finally came to an end. Every one of us need to have our own plan for our future. Out of 7, 6 of us chose to further our studies at kl, while the other one continues his study in form 6 here at Ipoh. For those in kl including myself, we still could always hang out together, but for our only remaining friend of our gang at Ipoh, we could not meet each other that often.
During this Hari Raya break, we all came back to our hometown and had a gathering between our gang. All of us were really surprise when we saw that remaining friend at Ipoh. He brought along his girl friend. He told us that they had already together for 2months. All 6 of us didn't even know about it before that day. We actually felt quite weird as we don't even know our best friend's situation. If it is last time, even some silly gossip about any one of us, we will definitely know. Anyway, we all know the cause actually. It is because the communication between us are much more less compare to last time. In fact, we have made a deal that everyone should try to online whenever they are free so that at least we could chat through internet even we could not meet so often, so that we could at least know each other situation and maintain our friendship.
Posted By: KokChin
Time flies, our secondary school life had finally came to an end. Every one of us need to have our own plan for our future. Out of 7, 6 of us chose to further our studies at kl, while the other one continues his study in form 6 here at Ipoh. For those in kl including myself, we still could always hang out together, but for our only remaining friend of our gang at Ipoh, we could not meet each other that often.
During this Hari Raya break, we all came back to our hometown and had a gathering between our gang. All of us were really surprise when we saw that remaining friend at Ipoh. He brought along his girl friend. He told us that they had already together for 2months. All 6 of us didn't even know about it before that day. We actually felt quite weird as we don't even know our best friend's situation. If it is last time, even some silly gossip about any one of us, we will definitely know. Anyway, we all know the cause actually. It is because the communication between us are much more less compare to last time. In fact, we have made a deal that everyone should try to online whenever they are free so that at least we could chat through internet even we could not meet so often, so that we could at least know each other situation and maintain our friendship.
Posted By: KokChin
What makes private talks so special???
Its the 3rd day of raya, how was your holiday so far? Sleep till whatever time u want, surf the net from morning till midnight (or should I say morning of the second day?) , shop shop shop till your wallet empty, OR maybe...just MAYBE some of you study? uh-huh? haha...anyway...XOXO, Phoebe here, your sources to understand 'human' around you...
Have you ever involved in a 'private talk'? I....consider it as a yes?! So, Whats a private talk? Who can have private talk? Does private talk must be interpersonal?
For me, when one needs a private talk with the other, means it must be something important, something serious and of course something private too! From what you see, the name, 'private talk' requires privacy (of course la). So, for example, when you and your gang chatting around, then all of a sudden, someone (Steven) come and 'drag' one of your friend(Jessica) to talk outside of the circle. Obviously, he don't want the conversation to be interrupt or being know by someone else other than Jessica.
There's no limitation for how many people can have private talk, nor even WHO can have. Erm...I guess what I can analysis is what kind of relationship can have private talk. Lets say, parents with their kids, teachers/lecturers with students, husband and wife, friends and friends...BUT, i don't think you'll have a private talk with a stranger or someone you don't really know when they ask for a private talk. They probably will kidnapped you or... haha anyway, these relationships have their own intimacy. When you get close with someone/you wanna disclose yourself to someone, you'll often have private talks. You guys talks about dreams, who you like/hate, gossips, yourself...things that you don't usually share to others. You're willing to share your privacy to someone, and that person is willing to listen and to share his too.
When I asked some friends what do they think about private talk, mostly their answer is 2 person talking about something only God and both of them know. Errr...hahha...the way they said it, just so funny. However, this is not true. Not that its not true, but its just not the proper answer for private talk, you'll see. Firstly, yea, private talk can involve only both of the person and God, but it also can be more than that. It can be 2 person, 3 person, even a small group. For instance, the top manager have a private conversation with 5 of the heads of departments.
In Gossip Girl, a lot of interpersonal communication and so do private talks involve in.
Dan and Blair - secretly planning for revenge.
Serena and Blair - girls' gossip, exchanging secret.
nate and Dan - its guys' turn for gossip.
Chuck and Blair - try to make things clear?
And a lot and a lots of the scenes are about it. Watch gossip girl, and you'll know. Season 2 is... WOW! hahaha...
Have you ever involved in a 'private talk'? I....consider it as a yes?! So, Whats a private talk? Who can have private talk? Does private talk must be interpersonal?
For me, when one needs a private talk with the other, means it must be something important, something serious and of course something private too! From what you see, the name, 'private talk' requires privacy (of course la). So, for example, when you and your gang chatting around, then all of a sudden, someone (Steven) come and 'drag' one of your friend(Jessica) to talk outside of the circle. Obviously, he don't want the conversation to be interrupt or being know by someone else other than Jessica.
There's no limitation for how many people can have private talk, nor even WHO can have. Erm...I guess what I can analysis is what kind of relationship can have private talk. Lets say, parents with their kids, teachers/lecturers with students, husband and wife, friends and friends...BUT, i don't think you'll have a private talk with a stranger or someone you don't really know when they ask for a private talk. They probably will kidnapped you or... haha anyway, these relationships have their own intimacy. When you get close with someone/you wanna disclose yourself to someone, you'll often have private talks. You guys talks about dreams, who you like/hate, gossips, yourself...things that you don't usually share to others. You're willing to share your privacy to someone, and that person is willing to listen and to share his too.
When I asked some friends what do they think about private talk, mostly their answer is 2 person talking about something only God and both of them know. Errr...hahha...the way they said it, just so funny. However, this is not true. Not that its not true, but its just not the proper answer for private talk, you'll see. Firstly, yea, private talk can involve only both of the person and God, but it also can be more than that. It can be 2 person, 3 person, even a small group. For instance, the top manager have a private conversation with 5 of the heads of departments.
In Gossip Girl, a lot of interpersonal communication and so do private talks involve in.
Dan and Blair - secretly planning for revenge.
Serena and Blair - girls' gossip, exchanging secret.
nate and Dan - its guys' turn for gossip.
Chuck and Blair - try to make things clear?
And a lot and a lots of the scenes are about it. Watch gossip girl, and you'll know. Season 2 is... WOW! hahaha...
chess game
i happened to be involved in and observed a chess game the other day. the first one, which i was playing, is between 2 females. (my friend and i) the one i observed was between 2 males. and i realized just by how each gender plays the game, the difference in a male and female's communication style.
in the game between females, all was quiet. women tend to remain silent during a game as probably a means to hid any intentions and tactics and then out of the blue, present a shocking move that wasnt expected by the opponent.
however, in the game between males, i find that each of the guys were constantly trying to psyche each other out. for example, if one guy takes too long, the other would say things like "scared already ah? the game just started, no need to scared" and when any of the pieces gets eaten, they'd say "i knew you were gonna do that. i purposely let you" and all other such things to make their opponent think that they have the game in control.
i find this to reflect how males and females communicate differently with each other.
Post written by,
Tham Sue Fern
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reference: http://images.google.com.my/imgres?imgurl=http://www3.telus.net/chessvancouver/images/chess.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www3.telus.net/chessvancouver/&h=550&w=800&sz=64&hl=en&start=1&um=1&usg=__E7zVPda0rGrrgqvK_lWOlzfofkE=&tbnid=XvX2roFS1d_91M:&tbnh=98&tbnw=143&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchess%26ndsp%3D18%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26channel%3Ds%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN
in the game between females, all was quiet. women tend to remain silent during a game as probably a means to hid any intentions and tactics and then out of the blue, present a shocking move that wasnt expected by the opponent.
however, in the game between males, i find that each of the guys were constantly trying to psyche each other out. for example, if one guy takes too long, the other would say things like "scared already ah? the game just started, no need to scared" and when any of the pieces gets eaten, they'd say "i knew you were gonna do that. i purposely let you" and all other such things to make their opponent think that they have the game in control.
i find this to reflect how males and females communicate differently with each other.
Post written by,
Tham Sue Fern
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reference: http://images.google.com.my/imgres?imgurl=http://www3.telus.net/chessvancouver/images/chess.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www3.telus.net/chessvancouver/&h=550&w=800&sz=64&hl=en&start=1&um=1&usg=__E7zVPda0rGrrgqvK_lWOlzfofkE=&tbnid=XvX2roFS1d_91M:&tbnh=98&tbnw=143&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchess%26ndsp%3D18%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26channel%3Ds%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN
Do love always there?
y do ppl always fall in love even though they dont know each other? guys usually fall in love by physical attractiveness. while, women always attracted by guys financial, higher education person. I know that Love is like the sun that radiates Its love rays on everyone regardless of beliefs.I know that Love doesn't judge any one's beliefs.
Communication is the transference of information from someone who sends the information to a channel which goes to a receiver of the information. Communication consists of the sender, the channel and the receiver. If u see the way that I am communicating with u, u'll see that the channels I open to u are based in love. For me it's all about giving, giving and giving love. When I hook ur attention and create the channel between us, I give you information, I give you love. There is a lot of energy transference going mainly from me to you. Each of you has a reaction in your own personal way.
My intention is to have a clean channel with all of you. That is how I intend to manifest the love that we use to connect with each other in order that we become one. Wherever the net is touched or moved, the vibrations are felt in all the directions of the net.
posted by
chuan kim
Communication is the transference of information from someone who sends the information to a channel which goes to a receiver of the information. Communication consists of the sender, the channel and the receiver. If u see the way that I am communicating with u, u'll see that the channels I open to u are based in love. For me it's all about giving, giving and giving love. When I hook ur attention and create the channel between us, I give you information, I give you love. There is a lot of energy transference going mainly from me to you. Each of you has a reaction in your own personal way.
My intention is to have a clean channel with all of you. That is how I intend to manifest the love that we use to connect with each other in order that we become one. Wherever the net is touched or moved, the vibrations are felt in all the directions of the net.
posted by
chuan kim
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I know what you're going to say!!!!!
XOXO, Phoebe here, your sources to understand "human" around you...
A very nice morning, laying on the bed, eating my french toast with coffee specially imported from Mexico, reading some new books I just bought....Honestly its weird, laying on bed at 11 on Thursday?! (For your information, I have to go college at 6.30 everyday from mon-fri) Anyway, Raya-raya(english version for hari raya, i guess) people!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wife: John, I've been thinking
Husband: Mmmm...
W: I've made a decision.
H: Uh-huh?
W: I'm going to stop work in September.
H: Well...
W: I know WHAT YOU"RE GOING TO SAY. How are we gong to manage on one
salary? Well we've done it before, and we'll do it again. We're far too extravagant anyway.
It'll do us good.
H: I...
W: It's no good trotting out your line about, "How will you cope without holidays and little
treats?" You saying that really infuriates me! You're virtually calling me a simple-minded
bimbo, which, for your information, I certainly am not.
H: You...
W: DON'T BOTHER TELLING ME I've got some secret reason for stopping work,
either. I haven't, and frankly I take exception to your view of as a devious self-seeking
female.
H: Could we...
W: No, DON"T TRY TO SMOOTH ME OVER. You can't call someone a neurotic
simpleton and then make it all right with a few glib phrases. No doubt you'll claim you "didn't
mean it". Well if you didn't mean it you shouldn't have said it! How would you feel if you'd
come to me with a care fully thought-through plan and had it steam-rolled? Because that's
what you've done.
H: I...
W: No, PLEASE DON"T INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE BY DENYING IT. I
simple won't listen. You've had your say, and now its my turn, or perhaps I don't get a turn?
Well I'm going to take it anyway. I've told you I want to stop work, but you don't seem to
hear me. Or rather you did hear me, but all you could do is go on and on in your usual way
about holidays and treats and me not coping. negative as ever! You don't agree so that's that.
H: Lets...
W: You don't have to say anymore. I get the message. Well all right, I won't stop work!
But just you bear in mind that it was you who bullied me into carrying on.
H: When ...
W: It's useless trying to backtrack now. It's too late! "Keep slaving away."Those are your orders
to the resident servant. Well, okay, I will. But I loathe you sometimes, and one day I'll find
the words to tell you how much -- If I ever get a word in edge ways, which is unlikely.
H: But...
W: I'm sorry, I don't want to hear anymore. You may not have finished but I have! I'm going
out! Good night!
H: (after a puzzled pause) if only I'd kept my mouth shut...
Cabbages for the King
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This is a part of the conversation that I felt interesting when I read the book. Felt familiar with it? I'm sure it happened among us, because we are always so sure we know what the other person is going to say. But we don't. For the wife, I've just got one thing to say to her which is, Can't you just LISTEN to your husband?! Can't you just CHILL for a minute?!! I mean, you sure get piss to the wife when you saw the dialogue above. But think yourself, how often we are the 'wife'? "I know what you're going to say"? The problem is YOU DON'T KNOW!!! why get too big to your boots? We're always smart aleck, tend to thought that we know better than others and that's why we don't listen. If you think you're so 'smart', talk to yourself! Don't talk to others cause you wont let others to say a word!
Such as the wife, we often use our perspectives to judge others. "Owh, you think I'm too self-fish!" "You mistrust me?!" You're pissed just because I stop the job?!" All these phases run through her mind during the conversation. So, whenever the husband wanna say something, she just "know what he's going to say". But what the husband think is totally the other round compare to what the wife think of him. Then, it end up all the misunderstanding, wrong messages, wrong attitudes, wrong opinion...stuck in both heart until the day they're willing to make things clear. So, just stop putting your concepts of others into others, things don't work that way.
A very nice morning, laying on the bed, eating my french toast with coffee specially imported from Mexico, reading some new books I just bought....Honestly its weird, laying on bed at 11 on Thursday?! (For your information, I have to go college at 6.30 everyday from mon-fri) Anyway, Raya-raya(english version for hari raya, i guess) people!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wife: John, I've been thinking
Husband: Mmmm...
W: I've made a decision.
H: Uh-huh?
W: I'm going to stop work in September.
H: Well...
W: I know WHAT YOU"RE GOING TO SAY. How are we gong to manage on one
salary? Well we've done it before, and we'll do it again. We're far too extravagant anyway.
It'll do us good.
H: I...
W: It's no good trotting out your line about, "How will you cope without holidays and little
treats?" You saying that really infuriates me! You're virtually calling me a simple-minded
bimbo, which, for your information, I certainly am not.
H: You...
W: DON'T BOTHER TELLING ME I've got some secret reason for stopping work,
either. I haven't, and frankly I take exception to your view of as a devious self-seeking
female.
H: Could we...
W: No, DON"T TRY TO SMOOTH ME OVER. You can't call someone a neurotic
simpleton and then make it all right with a few glib phrases. No doubt you'll claim you "didn't
mean it". Well if you didn't mean it you shouldn't have said it! How would you feel if you'd
come to me with a care fully thought-through plan and had it steam-rolled? Because that's
what you've done.
H: I...
W: No, PLEASE DON"T INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE BY DENYING IT. I
simple won't listen. You've had your say, and now its my turn, or perhaps I don't get a turn?
Well I'm going to take it anyway. I've told you I want to stop work, but you don't seem to
hear me. Or rather you did hear me, but all you could do is go on and on in your usual way
about holidays and treats and me not coping. negative as ever! You don't agree so that's that.
H: Lets...
W: You don't have to say anymore. I get the message. Well all right, I won't stop work!
But just you bear in mind that it was you who bullied me into carrying on.
H: When ...
W: It's useless trying to backtrack now. It's too late! "Keep slaving away."Those are your orders
to the resident servant. Well, okay, I will. But I loathe you sometimes, and one day I'll find
the words to tell you how much -- If I ever get a word in edge ways, which is unlikely.
H: But...
W: I'm sorry, I don't want to hear anymore. You may not have finished but I have! I'm going
out! Good night!
H: (after a puzzled pause) if only I'd kept my mouth shut...
Cabbages for the King
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This is a part of the conversation that I felt interesting when I read the book. Felt familiar with it? I'm sure it happened among us, because we are always so sure we know what the other person is going to say. But we don't. For the wife, I've just got one thing to say to her which is, Can't you just LISTEN to your husband?! Can't you just CHILL for a minute?!! I mean, you sure get piss to the wife when you saw the dialogue above. But think yourself, how often we are the 'wife'? "I know what you're going to say"? The problem is YOU DON'T KNOW!!! why get too big to your boots? We're always smart aleck, tend to thought that we know better than others and that's why we don't listen. If you think you're so 'smart', talk to yourself! Don't talk to others cause you wont let others to say a word!
Such as the wife, we often use our perspectives to judge others. "Owh, you think I'm too self-fish!" "You mistrust me?!" You're pissed just because I stop the job?!" All these phases run through her mind during the conversation. So, whenever the husband wanna say something, she just "know what he's going to say". But what the husband think is totally the other round compare to what the wife think of him. Then, it end up all the misunderstanding, wrong messages, wrong attitudes, wrong opinion...stuck in both heart until the day they're willing to make things clear. So, just stop putting your concepts of others into others, things don't work that way.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Animal communication
now i only realised there is animal communicator? actually overall how do they communication with them? Communicating intuitively with animals means mentally sending and receiving thoughts, images, and emotions. Most animal communicators work from a distance using just a description and do not even see a picture of the animal. Animal talk to each other intuitively and are able to intuitively 'sense' people and the environment very well.
The idea of intuitive communication with animals and nature challenges long-held beliefs, like the beliefs that other species are inferior to humans intellectually and do not have the emotional or spiritual capacity humans do. Most people don't believe they have intuitive abilities, we actually use these abilities every day. Situation are like:-
-Knowing how someone is feeling emotionally or physically
-Realizing that someone is angry or upset even if there is no outward sign.
-Knowing who's on the phone before you pick it up.
-Recognizing when someone is lying to you or trying to manipulate you.
-Thinking about someone and then getting a visit, card or call from that person.
-Knowing how someone else feels about you
-Suddenly feeling an unexplainable dislike or uncertainty about someone or something.
posted by
chuan kim
The idea of intuitive communication with animals and nature challenges long-held beliefs, like the beliefs that other species are inferior to humans intellectually and do not have the emotional or spiritual capacity humans do. Most people don't believe they have intuitive abilities, we actually use these abilities every day. Situation are like:-
-Knowing how someone is feeling emotionally or physically
-Realizing that someone is angry or upset even if there is no outward sign.
-Knowing who's on the phone before you pick it up.
-Recognizing when someone is lying to you or trying to manipulate you.
-Thinking about someone and then getting a visit, card or call from that person.
-Knowing how someone else feels about you
-Suddenly feeling an unexplainable dislike or uncertainty about someone or something.
posted by
chuan kim
communication clears up misunderstandings
i'd like to share a past experience which i consider to highlight some communication problems.
when i was in form 4, i had this replacement teacher who was transferred to my school for some sort of training program. i dont really remember her name, but i belive its Ms. Pre-something. she replaced for my english teacher. my first impression on her was that she wasnt very friendly because she had such a sour face and carried herself in an almost uptight manner. all the words that came out of her mouth was curt and straight to the point.
the first time she entered the class and introduced herself, she decided to do some literature with us, because that day was literature day and all of my class brought our literature books. so she discussed with us 'The Sound Machine', the story about this inventor who invented a machine that supposedly can hear sounds above and below the normal human range of hearing. so, she talked a little about it and asked some questions, to which she got little response. she then commented that we were passive.
she soon gave up on questions, and instead told us to get into groups and discuss among ourselves the characteristics of the main character. during the course of discussion, a friend of mine said something i found particularly funny, and laughed. it was that exact moment though that Ms. Pre-something looked my way and upon seeing me laughing, she got angry. she accused me of being rude, and asked me what's so funny. i was too bewildered to answer. she then made me stand to answer a literature question. i answered and was allowed to sit but right after that, she snapped.
she said our behaviour was rude, and that we were so passive. and then she commented about me laughing and that did we think its funny to laugh in class? (although i wasnt even laughing at her....) then she said she previously taught in a boarding school and that the students there are so well behaved, unlike us. she told us to review ourselves and that she expected better the next time she comes in. she left the class immediately after saying that.
when she has completely disappeared down the hallway, my entire class was up in an uproar. while some were just flabbergasted, most, including me, were quite upset. we completely didnt understand what she wanted. but by the end of the day, we all decided we didnt like her. so its no wonder the next time she came in, we were all cautious, and even more passive than before. but it was unnecessary, as we were in for a surprise.
she came in and said to us that she discussed with the other teachers about us, and she realized from what they said that she might have been wrong to judge us. she also said that we might have started on the wrong foot, so she was willing to burn the english period that day so that we can start over. firstly, we resolved all the issues that was bothering us. one of my classmates volunteered to ask. the question being that she said we were passive, yet when we discussed and talked, she said we were rude. so what exactly does she want? my classmate also cleared the fact that we werent passive, it just that with a new teacher, the environment is different. we were just warming up to her. we wanted to learn her teaching styles first.
Ms. Pre-something accepted our reasons and apologized before telling us that she shouldnt have compared us to students she taught in the boarding school. she understand that not everyone is the same. we accepted that too, and so no hard feelings. we continued conversing that entire english period getting to know her. after that, we never had problems with her again, and i find that she's actually a pretty nice teacher.
if we never had that clearing up conversation, i may not have felt that way though. we all might have assumed that she was just plain not nice. so because of communication, misunderstandings was cleared up. another thing that i think Ms. Pre-something would have learnt from my class is that assuming students everywhere is the same is wrong. so its important to adapt communication styles to different people and situations.
Post written by,
Tham Sue Fern
when i was in form 4, i had this replacement teacher who was transferred to my school for some sort of training program. i dont really remember her name, but i belive its Ms. Pre-something. she replaced for my english teacher. my first impression on her was that she wasnt very friendly because she had such a sour face and carried herself in an almost uptight manner. all the words that came out of her mouth was curt and straight to the point.
the first time she entered the class and introduced herself, she decided to do some literature with us, because that day was literature day and all of my class brought our literature books. so she discussed with us 'The Sound Machine', the story about this inventor who invented a machine that supposedly can hear sounds above and below the normal human range of hearing. so, she talked a little about it and asked some questions, to which she got little response. she then commented that we were passive.
she soon gave up on questions, and instead told us to get into groups and discuss among ourselves the characteristics of the main character. during the course of discussion, a friend of mine said something i found particularly funny, and laughed. it was that exact moment though that Ms. Pre-something looked my way and upon seeing me laughing, she got angry. she accused me of being rude, and asked me what's so funny. i was too bewildered to answer. she then made me stand to answer a literature question. i answered and was allowed to sit but right after that, she snapped.
she said our behaviour was rude, and that we were so passive. and then she commented about me laughing and that did we think its funny to laugh in class? (although i wasnt even laughing at her....) then she said she previously taught in a boarding school and that the students there are so well behaved, unlike us. she told us to review ourselves and that she expected better the next time she comes in. she left the class immediately after saying that.
when she has completely disappeared down the hallway, my entire class was up in an uproar. while some were just flabbergasted, most, including me, were quite upset. we completely didnt understand what she wanted. but by the end of the day, we all decided we didnt like her. so its no wonder the next time she came in, we were all cautious, and even more passive than before. but it was unnecessary, as we were in for a surprise.
she came in and said to us that she discussed with the other teachers about us, and she realized from what they said that she might have been wrong to judge us. she also said that we might have started on the wrong foot, so she was willing to burn the english period that day so that we can start over. firstly, we resolved all the issues that was bothering us. one of my classmates volunteered to ask. the question being that she said we were passive, yet when we discussed and talked, she said we were rude. so what exactly does she want? my classmate also cleared the fact that we werent passive, it just that with a new teacher, the environment is different. we were just warming up to her. we wanted to learn her teaching styles first.
Ms. Pre-something accepted our reasons and apologized before telling us that she shouldnt have compared us to students she taught in the boarding school. she understand that not everyone is the same. we accepted that too, and so no hard feelings. we continued conversing that entire english period getting to know her. after that, we never had problems with her again, and i find that she's actually a pretty nice teacher.
if we never had that clearing up conversation, i may not have felt that way though. we all might have assumed that she was just plain not nice. so because of communication, misunderstandings was cleared up. another thing that i think Ms. Pre-something would have learnt from my class is that assuming students everywhere is the same is wrong. so its important to adapt communication styles to different people and situations.
Post written by,
Tham Sue Fern
Friday, September 26, 2008
bizzare Ad translations
translating US ad slogans into other languages doesn't always work.....here are some examples.
in China, a Coca-Cola ad used Chinese symbols to sound out "Coca-Cola" phonectically. the soda company withdrew the ad after learning the symbols "Co" "Ca" "Co" "La" meant "Bite the wax tadpole"
according to a book called The Want Makers, "In Taiwan, Pepsi's 'Come Alive with the Pepsi Generation' was reportedly translated on billboards as 'Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead'"
in Brazil, an American airline advertised that its planes had "rendezvous" lounges, not realizing that in Portuguese "rendezvous" means a place to have sex.
in French Canada, Hunt-Wesson attempted to use its "Big John" brand name by translating it into French as "Gros Jos", a colloquial French phrase that denotes a woman with huge breasts.
when General Motors introduced the Chevrolet Nova in Latin America, it was obvious they didn't know their Spanish. ads all across Latin America heralded the arrival of the new, reliable Nova, which in Spanish means "doesn't go."
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reference: Edu Smith (November-December 2005, p.42)
in China, a Coca-Cola ad used Chinese symbols to sound out "Coca-Cola" phonectically. the soda company withdrew the ad after learning the symbols "Co" "Ca" "Co" "La" meant "Bite the wax tadpole"
according to a book called The Want Makers, "In Taiwan, Pepsi's 'Come Alive with the Pepsi Generation' was reportedly translated on billboards as 'Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead'"
in Brazil, an American airline advertised that its planes had "rendezvous" lounges, not realizing that in Portuguese "rendezvous" means a place to have sex.
in French Canada, Hunt-Wesson attempted to use its "Big John" brand name by translating it into French as "Gros Jos", a colloquial French phrase that denotes a woman with huge breasts.
when General Motors introduced the Chevrolet Nova in Latin America, it was obvious they didn't know their Spanish. ads all across Latin America heralded the arrival of the new, reliable Nova, which in Spanish means "doesn't go."
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reference: Edu Smith (November-December 2005, p.42)
communication of picture
Everywhere u are, there will be always have picutre. Even though, when we are sleeping; we might dreams picture too. Sometimes, there are some pictures which juz simply use a brush and draw. Who knows it show some meaning of the picture. For example, u draw a love shape on a piece of paper and show alot of meaning. It might mean u draw this love shape for ur love one or u juz draw when u are emotionally down. Sometimes, the love shape has many design and colour which mean might have different meaning.
Fews day ago, a friend told me about a 'meaning' of placing one hand into a photo like this. i was shocked at first but it turned out funny later on. she said to me, never to reveal such a photo because the possibility for someone to take knowledge of one's manhood is on the line. easy to say, 'it' is no longer a secret to the public.
posted by
Chuan Kim
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Its been a long long day ... Part II
XOXO, its Phoebe here, your sources to understand human around you.
Believe me, even I don't know there's a part II after what happened yesterday. Remember what I said in my previous blog. I blocked my car in front of ms Debbie? Actually there's another car which i blocked it too. So after I post my previous blog, I went to car park to checked out my car. Here comes the 'part II', someone clamped my car! Great! now what?! I've to pay 50 $ to the security to unlocked my car, and I'm being scolded by him some more.
This is where the misunderstanding happened. Look, its seems that no one care about what happened to me. Yea, that guy might be in a rush and i've wasted his one/two hours waiting for me. I've apologize for that. What else he want?! I've sent my apologizes and I pay the 50$! Due to what had happened to me in the morning, I'm frustrated!!! When someone pissed, they just can't listen one single word you say. I've tried to explain but no one wanna LISTEN to me!!! Listen and hearing are not the same thing! You heard what I said but you didn't listen carefully! Listen for information before evaluating. Please make sure you completly understand what others are talking about then only you make judgement on it. Do not make the judgements with your own feelings and thoughts.
I watched a singoporean movie before, "I'm not stupid too". The film is about the lives of the 15-year-old Tom, his 8-year old brother Jerry, and their friend, the 15-year-old Chengcai. This satirical comedy touches on various issues facing Singaporean teens today, particularly the lack of communication between parents and children, and the lack of appreciation for good deeds.
Parents who worked from morning till midnight. who only give their kids money but no love. Their parents' busy schedules give them little time to spend with their children, leading to a strained relationship. One day, their son (Jerry) was caught for stealing money in the school canteen, and the principle called his parents. They scolded him and asked him why do you want to steal teh money, they hitted him when he don't wanna reply. At last, Jerry said, "I just wanna save 160$ to buy you an hour to come to my performance." Jerry used to asked his parents so many times by leaving stick-it-notes on the freeze. He wrote it everyday and its been a month and his parents haven't notice yet?!
Listening requires effort. People just simply giving faulty assumptions without putting any efforts to listen to it. There are times, where finally they're all together for dinner, Jerry tried to convinced his parents to go, but they just assume that Jerry's performances don't have much VALUE compare to their business and clients.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Its been a long long day....
XOXO, Phoebe here, your sources to understand human around you.
Supposing I should be in college at 8 o'clock in the morning for the 'heart attack' human com class. 1st something happen in the petrol station while I want to fill up my car's tank. And next, all of a sudden, someone BANG my car! You must be kidding God! Then ended up in police station! Great!!! =.=""""""""" By the time I reach college its already 10. things haven't end yet. I can't believe that there's no ONE SINGLE slot left?!!! After 30 minutes of wasting my petrol and going round and round the car park, I just give up!!! I ended up blocking Ms Debbie's car. Hopefully she's not leaving that soon. Anyway, I still manage to attend the other group's human com class and we watch a movie : "College Road Trip".
At the beginning (where I came in the class), its about a young lady,Melanie, going party with her 2 friends but was lying to her overprotective dad that she's going somewhere else.
Melanie: I CAN NEVER talk to the old man!"
Dad : "Me and my daughter have a solid relationship. We CAN talk anything!"
Parents used to think that they have a close-knit relationship with their children which is not true. Teenagers NEVER TELL EVERYTHING to their parents. We keep every things inside, we rather tell our best friends but not our parents. Trust me, cause I'm one of it.
Parents always thought that they can communicate well with their children. Yea, maybe for children but not for teens. Owh, come on folks. You're trying to communicate with a teen while your thoughts still stay in 90's?! Give me a break. During the road trip, in the car, you can see that Mel's dad is trying so hard to communicate with Mel by playing their old songs which Mel don't even want to remember it and to have a "DEEP" talk. But, things just don't work in this way. You can't fix the broken chain in one day. There's a short scene where Mel's mom scolded Trey(Mel's brother) for hiding in the track and follow them to the road trip. After scolding him, she said : I love you, son. Seriously, how many of our parents do thing like these? Yea, it is a small matter, but right after you scolded your son? This is when the relationship get tight, where the children felt LOVE. You scold them because you care about them, you don't want them to go to the wrong path, and when you told them "I love you" cause you really love them. Afterwards, Trey said : Dad, are you still mad at me for following?" And he said : "Son, i can never stand mad at you!" see?
Cultures, made a different family. It shows in the movie too. I beg you never will forget this. Besides Mel's family, there's another family which is the over-react, over-happy, and the karaokes family. Well, that's the way they are. You might find difficulties to go along with them, but that's their family. Everyone have their "Home sweet home" and their own family's culture and traditions. Its what built a family up.
Trustworthy is important among human. Trust your kids. The decisions they made. Sometimes, mistakes makes us grow.
Mel : I want a Dad who loves me, adore me and are proud to raise a daughter like that and trust me!.
Supposing I should be in college at 8 o'clock in the morning for the 'heart attack' human com class. 1st something happen in the petrol station while I want to fill up my car's tank. And next, all of a sudden, someone BANG my car! You must be kidding God! Then ended up in police station! Great!!! =.=""""""""" By the time I reach college its already 10. things haven't end yet. I can't believe that there's no ONE SINGLE slot left?!!! After 30 minutes of wasting my petrol and going round and round the car park, I just give up!!! I ended up blocking Ms Debbie's car. Hopefully she's not leaving that soon. Anyway, I still manage to attend the other group's human com class and we watch a movie : "College Road Trip".
At the beginning (where I came in the class), its about a young lady,Melanie, going party with her 2 friends but was lying to her overprotective dad that she's going somewhere else.
Melanie: I CAN NEVER talk to the old man!"
Dad : "Me and my daughter have a solid relationship. We CAN talk anything!"
Parents used to think that they have a close-knit relationship with their children which is not true. Teenagers NEVER TELL EVERYTHING to their parents. We keep every things inside, we rather tell our best friends but not our parents. Trust me, cause I'm one of it.
Parents always thought that they can communicate well with their children. Yea, maybe for children but not for teens. Owh, come on folks. You're trying to communicate with a teen while your thoughts still stay in 90's?! Give me a break. During the road trip, in the car, you can see that Mel's dad is trying so hard to communicate with Mel by playing their old songs which Mel don't even want to remember it and to have a "DEEP" talk. But, things just don't work in this way. You can't fix the broken chain in one day. There's a short scene where Mel's mom scolded Trey(Mel's brother) for hiding in the track and follow them to the road trip. After scolding him, she said : I love you, son. Seriously, how many of our parents do thing like these? Yea, it is a small matter, but right after you scolded your son? This is when the relationship get tight, where the children felt LOVE. You scold them because you care about them, you don't want them to go to the wrong path, and when you told them "I love you" cause you really love them. Afterwards, Trey said : Dad, are you still mad at me for following?" And he said : "Son, i can never stand mad at you!" see?
Cultures, made a different family. It shows in the movie too. I beg you never will forget this. Besides Mel's family, there's another family which is the over-react, over-happy, and the karaokes family. Well, that's the way they are. You might find difficulties to go along with them, but that's their family. Everyone have their "Home sweet home" and their own family's culture and traditions. Its what built a family up.
Trustworthy is important among human. Trust your kids. The decisions they made. Sometimes, mistakes makes us grow.
Mel : I want a Dad who loves me, adore me and are proud to raise a daughter like that and trust me!.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Communication with music
have u ever think that a person sing without music izit weird or not? yet a person sing well then different case. however, sing with music still is the best because make the person have confident to sing better and follow the flow of the music it make better of a song when a person sing. How about this, do you know who is the first person sing and create music? actually my ownself dont really know that and where does music from?
Since the beginning of time music has always been a source of communication. Until now, it is one of the most powerful influence, enhance, educate or destroy one's mind. Especially, young minds! No matter what nationality, handing down history or sending information through music breaks all color barriers. I know that last time they need music instrument to play a song but now we can easily get it from computer which is digital sound.
Artistically speaking, social surrounding and personal experiences always seem to affect the music and lyrics of different artist including myself. I'm sure that deep down in the back of your minds there's the desire to want to change things and express yourself.
Music is an Art Form and all art forms use expressions. You can't tell me that if you read where children are being abused, the kids are getting hooked and selling crack on the corners, the KKK is in town, your cousin got shot at a party, your child is gay, your country is at war, someone in your family is dying from some disease, your neighbor got raped by the man down the street or people are being abused and murdered by the police that you can express yourself artistically without thinking of these things. These thoughts have to come out at sometime during the course of your artistic creativities. It's the POWER OF COMMUNICATION !
posted by chuan kim
Since the beginning of time music has always been a source of communication. Until now, it is one of the most powerful influence, enhance, educate or destroy one's mind. Especially, young minds! No matter what nationality, handing down history or sending information through music breaks all color barriers. I know that last time they need music instrument to play a song but now we can easily get it from computer which is digital sound.
Artistically speaking, social surrounding and personal experiences always seem to affect the music and lyrics of different artist including myself. I'm sure that deep down in the back of your minds there's the desire to want to change things and express yourself.
Music is an Art Form and all art forms use expressions. You can't tell me that if you read where children are being abused, the kids are getting hooked and selling crack on the corners, the KKK is in town, your cousin got shot at a party, your child is gay, your country is at war, someone in your family is dying from some disease, your neighbor got raped by the man down the street or people are being abused and murdered by the police that you can express yourself artistically without thinking of these things. These thoughts have to come out at sometime during the course of your artistic creativities. It's the POWER OF COMMUNICATION !
posted by chuan kim
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Bas Mini Trip
Yesterday, I went for a steamboat dinner with my friends nearby Sunway Pyramid. We ate until 9.30 at night. Due to the fact that the whole gang of us do not have our own transports, we were wondering around the restaurant to find a teksi to go home. Unfortunately, we didn't get it, so we walk back to Sunway Pyramid because it will be easier to get a public transport at the shopping complex.
After some distance of walking, we finally reach Sunway Pyramid. We actually saw a lot of teksi standing by at there and also a BAS MINI waiting there. Suddenly, 1 of my friend suggested us to take the Bas Mini instead of teksi as it costs only 70cent compare to rm3 for teksi and he say it takes only 5minutes more than a teksi to reach our home which is at subang jaya ss15. The only disadvantage is that there is no air-conditioned provided. However, we decided to save some money, so we just pay to the bus driver and went in the little bus.
Things unusual happen as we realized that the route was a bit different today, instead of turning right as usual, the driver turn left, but we still thought it is inside Subang Jaya so we stay stable. After some time, we start to mumbling with each other as we have been sitting in the bus for about 30minutes as normally we only need 10 minutes to reach home. Later on, the bus even cross a toll. We start discussing whats the problem today, and i went on to ask the driver and questioned him he don't pass by our place today. Oh, my god!!!!! He told me that the route is different for this trip and he also pointed that the signboard had already shown in front but none of us realized. Finally, we went down at a petrol station after the toll. We did stop some teksi to ask for the prices to back home but it was really costly, so one of my friend called her sister and she fetched us home.
As a conclusion, this incident actually happened just because of the lack of communication between us and the bus driver. We did not take the trouble to ask the driver earlier even we were not sure where the bus is going. It teaches us to ask as soon as possible whenever we are not sure on anything.
Posted By: KokChin
After some distance of walking, we finally reach Sunway Pyramid. We actually saw a lot of teksi standing by at there and also a BAS MINI waiting there. Suddenly, 1 of my friend suggested us to take the Bas Mini instead of teksi as it costs only 70cent compare to rm3 for teksi and he say it takes only 5minutes more than a teksi to reach our home which is at subang jaya ss15. The only disadvantage is that there is no air-conditioned provided. However, we decided to save some money, so we just pay to the bus driver and went in the little bus.
Things unusual happen as we realized that the route was a bit different today, instead of turning right as usual, the driver turn left, but we still thought it is inside Subang Jaya so we stay stable. After some time, we start to mumbling with each other as we have been sitting in the bus for about 30minutes as normally we only need 10 minutes to reach home. Later on, the bus even cross a toll. We start discussing whats the problem today, and i went on to ask the driver and questioned him he don't pass by our place today. Oh, my god!!!!! He told me that the route is different for this trip and he also pointed that the signboard had already shown in front but none of us realized. Finally, we went down at a petrol station after the toll. We did stop some teksi to ask for the prices to back home but it was really costly, so one of my friend called her sister and she fetched us home.
As a conclusion, this incident actually happened just because of the lack of communication between us and the bus driver. We did not take the trouble to ask the driver earlier even we were not sure where the bus is going. It teaches us to ask as soon as possible whenever we are not sure on anything.
Posted By: KokChin
i went to the library the other day and found a book about communication. and in the book, surprisingly, i found this!
the triangular theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg. i never knew that it was a part of communication. my friend and i were just discussing this theory recently. it basically categorizes love in the context of interpersonal relationship by three different components, which are intimacy, passion and commitment.
the perfect love, consummate love, would involve all three components. and all the other six categories lack one of two of the three components. but because consummate love is so hard to achieve and even though achieved, harder to maintain, my friend and i were debating on whether romantic love or companionate love is better. was it better to lack commitment or passion in a relationship?
another thing i noticed is that the three on the bottom half of the triangle(infatuation, fatuous and empty love) all lack one particular component, which the other four all have, which is intimacy. the fact that the four also seem to me as more ideal types of love led me to one conclusion. intimacy is very important in a relationship. as it is the definition of intimacy : Which encompasses feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love
the triangular theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg. i never knew that it was a part of communication. my friend and i were just discussing this theory recently. it basically categorizes love in the context of interpersonal relationship by three different components, which are intimacy, passion and commitment.
the perfect love, consummate love, would involve all three components. and all the other six categories lack one of two of the three components. but because consummate love is so hard to achieve and even though achieved, harder to maintain, my friend and i were debating on whether romantic love or companionate love is better. was it better to lack commitment or passion in a relationship?
another thing i noticed is that the three on the bottom half of the triangle(infatuation, fatuous and empty love) all lack one particular component, which the other four all have, which is intimacy. the fact that the four also seem to me as more ideal types of love led me to one conclusion. intimacy is very important in a relationship. as it is the definition of intimacy : Which encompasses feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love
No Communication No Friends
As everyone knows that we, humans are definitely won't be surviving without food and water. but I am sure everyone knows that these are not our only basic needs. Actually, the one that I am going to emphasize here is FRIENDS.
Besides our family member, friends will actually be the one closest yo us. Although there are no statement stating that we can't survive without friends, i can tell u very surely that our life won't be happy and will be really lonely. Hey guys, don't forget that every couple starts from the relationship of friends. Therefore, there is actually no way for us to be in love if we don't have a single friend. Of course, we don't make friends just because we want to fall in love.
So, how we make friends? Communicate is the solution right? I really don't think that two individual standing at there and looking at each others can develop a friendship. At least they have to introduce themselves and ask some questions about the other side as a basic understanding of each one, later on they will have to communicate more to understand each other more so that their friendship could be improved as time passes, by then only they could share their private stuff together as it will be really pressure if we keep everything with our own. With some trustful friends around, at least we could express some of it out to release some of our tension and get some different opinions from them.
This actually shows how communication help to start up a friendship and improve a friendship, even when we are sharing our things we need to communicate as others could hardly totally understand of what we are thinking if we ourselves don't make any response, no matter how close we are. Therefore, with communication, friends available, and life will be brighten up; without communication, friends unavailable, and life will be bored and lonely.
Posted By: KokChin
Besides our family member, friends will actually be the one closest yo us. Although there are no statement stating that we can't survive without friends, i can tell u very surely that our life won't be happy and will be really lonely. Hey guys, don't forget that every couple starts from the relationship of friends. Therefore, there is actually no way for us to be in love if we don't have a single friend. Of course, we don't make friends just because we want to fall in love.
So, how we make friends? Communicate is the solution right? I really don't think that two individual standing at there and looking at each others can develop a friendship. At least they have to introduce themselves and ask some questions about the other side as a basic understanding of each one, later on they will have to communicate more to understand each other more so that their friendship could be improved as time passes, by then only they could share their private stuff together as it will be really pressure if we keep everything with our own. With some trustful friends around, at least we could express some of it out to release some of our tension and get some different opinions from them.
This actually shows how communication help to start up a friendship and improve a friendship, even when we are sharing our things we need to communicate as others could hardly totally understand of what we are thinking if we ourselves don't make any response, no matter how close we are. Therefore, with communication, friends available, and life will be brighten up; without communication, friends unavailable, and life will be bored and lonely.
Posted By: KokChin
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Can a person dont speak for a day ? Non verbal communication
it is hard not to speak a day. Dont u think that is hard? Even if you are able to keep from moving you will still communicate rigidity, anxiety, or something. We are always saying something. i think that a person think intellectually rather than always saying emotionally. Yet, they is some truth in the old cliche "actions speak louder than words.''
Nonverbal communication is learned and practiced often on an unconscious level. We attract people by using these nonverbal signals, and sometimes those we attract are unwholesome. Each of people will use gestures in a daily. it uses the same gestures to signify certain feelings. Gestures also can occur in clusters, so that while any particular gesture alone may not mean much
there are some nonverbal gesture:
-eye contact
-smile, leaning forward, relaxed
-hands away from face, possibly behind back
-standing straight, feet slightly apart, shoulders squared
-leaning forward (positive) and leaning back (negative)
-head tilted, ear cocked
-peering over top of glasses
posted by
chuan kim
Nonverbal communication is learned and practiced often on an unconscious level. We attract people by using these nonverbal signals, and sometimes those we attract are unwholesome. Each of people will use gestures in a daily. it uses the same gestures to signify certain feelings. Gestures also can occur in clusters, so that while any particular gesture alone may not mean much
there are some nonverbal gesture:
-eye contact
-smile, leaning forward, relaxed
-hands away from face, possibly behind back
-standing straight, feet slightly apart, shoulders squared
-leaning forward (positive) and leaning back (negative)
-head tilted, ear cocked
-peering over top of glasses
posted by
chuan kim
body language
non-verbal communication occurs everyday and involves a wide range of actions, from facial expressions to gestures and even the way we stand. a simple flick of the eyes to the person across the hall is a non-verbal communication too. as such, body language is a form of non-verbal communication. and it is a powerful language indeed. sometimes what we dont say speaks louder than what we do say. so goes the saying 'a picture tells a thousand words'.
our body language may sometimes contradict the words that come from our mouths. and as it says more than words do, others will tend to concentrate more on it, and thus body language can reveal our true feelings and intentions even if we say otherwise.
but sometimes i feel that some people fail to understand body language. whether they truly do not get it or they are ignoring it...i do not know. but for example, if i went up to a person who is doing work and talked to him or her, and this person could not be bothered to look at me while talking, i would perceive it as he or she is busy, and have no interest in talking at that particular time. well, that is certainly what i would do. if i didnt want to say it straight that i'm busy, i would reply with one liners and initiate as little eye contact as possible. most people get it, but some dont.
take another example, when someone says that they're hungry, but instead of eating pokes around with the food. but because body language is so effective in telling others our true feelings, they sometimes cause misunderstandings and fights as we sometimes really may not have meant it, but we cannot control our body's reaction. some people dont get it sometimes, but we shouldnt bet on it.
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
our body language may sometimes contradict the words that come from our mouths. and as it says more than words do, others will tend to concentrate more on it, and thus body language can reveal our true feelings and intentions even if we say otherwise.
but sometimes i feel that some people fail to understand body language. whether they truly do not get it or they are ignoring it...i do not know. but for example, if i went up to a person who is doing work and talked to him or her, and this person could not be bothered to look at me while talking, i would perceive it as he or she is busy, and have no interest in talking at that particular time. well, that is certainly what i would do. if i didnt want to say it straight that i'm busy, i would reply with one liners and initiate as little eye contact as possible. most people get it, but some dont.
take another example, when someone says that they're hungry, but instead of eating pokes around with the food. but because body language is so effective in telling others our true feelings, they sometimes cause misunderstandings and fights as we sometimes really may not have meant it, but we cannot control our body's reaction. some people dont get it sometimes, but we shouldnt bet on it.
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Times flies...Things changed?
The baby blue skies, the refreshing air in the parks, hymns from the birds who used to wake you up in the morning...Nah! you must be dreaming!! Perfect happiness is an illusion. I'm sure we all always dream and imagine rite? We always thought college is so free and stuffs will be fine and better, and felt can't wait for college life during high school rite? Hahaa, if yes, you're definitely NORMAL!!! Have things changed, after you get into HELP? There must be something rite? Your lifestyle? Your new friends? Environment around you? Of course this are those things we have to go through la, but maybe even your attitude changed also? Your attitude had changed without any realization in you?
Its my second sem, and things seems started out of control. Its been crazy weeks, tons of readings, assignments, homework, meetings....The only reason that I'm still ALIVE is because I kept telling myself others are going the same things too, I'm not the most pathetic one!
I remember telling about me changing different characteristic in different places in the older post, i guess. In college, i found quiet hard to COMMUNICATE with others. Yea, COMMUNICATE! I just don't know why? Its like, i seems stone when I'm with others. But, it happened just among those I'm not very close with. I used to think that I'm good with socializing cause I'm really good at it! Seriously!! Outside of the college, I'm totally another person which was very the talkative, wild, party girl and whatever you wanna call. Hahha, some said I've some kind of fobia of HELP. Stupid la...blah blah blah... I've no idea what is this post about, and dont know what am i typing, do you? Don't care la, seriously don't have stuffs to post. Sorry Mr.M, My brain is STUCK!
Its my second sem, and things seems started out of control. Its been crazy weeks, tons of readings, assignments, homework, meetings....The only reason that I'm still ALIVE is because I kept telling myself others are going the same things too, I'm not the most pathetic one!
I remember telling about me changing different characteristic in different places in the older post, i guess. In college, i found quiet hard to COMMUNICATE with others. Yea, COMMUNICATE! I just don't know why? Its like, i seems stone when I'm with others. But, it happened just among those I'm not very close with. I used to think that I'm good with socializing cause I'm really good at it! Seriously!! Outside of the college, I'm totally another person which was very the talkative, wild, party girl and whatever you wanna call. Hahha, some said I've some kind of fobia of HELP. Stupid la...blah blah blah... I've no idea what is this post about, and dont know what am i typing, do you? Don't care la, seriously don't have stuffs to post. Sorry Mr.M, My brain is STUCK!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Well Prepared For Better Communication
Everyone can communicate with each other, either it will be success or unsuccess. It actually means that whether the person u talking to can really understand or receive the messages that u intended to send out. It is actually really difficult to totally understand what people said unless you are really familiar with the topic which carried out.
Due to the fact that i have not been studying accounts before this semester, I am actually facing such problem in my accounting lesson at the beginning. I can't really understand what the lecturer is teaching. When she ask who doesn't understand please raise up their hand, i will always raise my hand up, but even after she gave me her second explanation, i still couldn't get exactly what she mean. Finally, my brother teaches me a technique that he used lastime when he is facing such problem. He asked me to read the chapter that the lecturer will be going to teach before the lecture itself. I did follow and it prove to be useful. Although i still couldn't totally understand during the lecture, at least now i could get the basic idea of what the lecturer is trying to tell us.
This actually shows us that it will actually easier for us to understand if we already have a basic idea about a certain topic when other people tell us about that topic. Just like it will be easier to communicate if i am talking about politics with someone who knows politics rather than talking to a person who know nothing about politics. However, sometimes we will have to due with some topics that we don't know at all, therefore, to avoid any miscommunication, we should do some research about that topic well ahead.
Posted By: KokChin
Due to the fact that i have not been studying accounts before this semester, I am actually facing such problem in my accounting lesson at the beginning. I can't really understand what the lecturer is teaching. When she ask who doesn't understand please raise up their hand, i will always raise my hand up, but even after she gave me her second explanation, i still couldn't get exactly what she mean. Finally, my brother teaches me a technique that he used lastime when he is facing such problem. He asked me to read the chapter that the lecturer will be going to teach before the lecture itself. I did follow and it prove to be useful. Although i still couldn't totally understand during the lecture, at least now i could get the basic idea of what the lecturer is trying to tell us.
This actually shows us that it will actually easier for us to understand if we already have a basic idea about a certain topic when other people tell us about that topic. Just like it will be easier to communicate if i am talking about politics with someone who knows politics rather than talking to a person who know nothing about politics. However, sometimes we will have to due with some topics that we don't know at all, therefore, to avoid any miscommunication, we should do some research about that topic well ahead.
Posted By: KokChin
Liverpool vs Manchester United
I remembered during my first tutorial lesson of human com, our group had picked a topic call "Football Game" and we presented about that topic by relating it to different types of human communication. Actually do you know that the fans are actually playing a key role too?
Last week, i watch a football game between the two most famous team in Asia, Liverpool and Manchester United. Everyone said that it was one of the most important game of the season. As a result, it was full house at the conference hall of my hostel. Everyone was there because of that particular game.
During the match itself, noises are around bcause communication occurs between the fans of both sides. When a side's team had a great scoring chance, the fans of that side will be getting exciting and axciting while the other side's fans will be getting nervous and nervous. After that shot had been taken, comments started to come out from the fans no matter the shot was success of fail. They started to discuss about the quality of that shot, how should they shot to do better and so on, especially for the fans of the same side. They will be discussing about every shot or situation of their side. When the game finally ended and Liverpool won, all the Liverpool fans congratulate each other and some even having a talk on the final conclusion of that game while the Man U fans console each other.
This actually shows us that when both sides are having the same target, it will actually make the communication between them more smooth and easier. Besides, they will also have more topics to chat and communicate.
Posted By: KokChin
Last week, i watch a football game between the two most famous team in Asia, Liverpool and Manchester United. Everyone said that it was one of the most important game of the season. As a result, it was full house at the conference hall of my hostel. Everyone was there because of that particular game.
During the match itself, noises are around bcause communication occurs between the fans of both sides. When a side's team had a great scoring chance, the fans of that side will be getting exciting and axciting while the other side's fans will be getting nervous and nervous. After that shot had been taken, comments started to come out from the fans no matter the shot was success of fail. They started to discuss about the quality of that shot, how should they shot to do better and so on, especially for the fans of the same side. They will be discussing about every shot or situation of their side. When the game finally ended and Liverpool won, all the Liverpool fans congratulate each other and some even having a talk on the final conclusion of that game while the Man U fans console each other.
This actually shows us that when both sides are having the same target, it will actually make the communication between them more smooth and easier. Besides, they will also have more topics to chat and communicate.
Posted By: KokChin
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
You don't get it?
XOXO, Phoebe here, your sources to understand 'human' around you.
I'm always 'addict' to babies. Just can't stop hugging and kissing and messing around with them every time I see them. You know how babies talk right? Its like "arr..r..." , "buuu..uuu" , "mummmm..mmm"....its just like they're having their own language, the "babies' language". I had watched a movie which I've forgot what's the name but anyhow its about baby talking. Yea, babies are having their own language and they talk to each other (in the movie). But then, when they talk like we, adult do, adult don't understand it. The understanding its just among the babies. Even the parents can't understand it. However, at the end of the movie, when the baby girl was in danger, the baby boy was trying to TELL his parents, and his parents UNDERSTAND what exactly he said.
What I'm trying to say is, you can understand if you really WANT TO communication with someone or anyone. Sometimes you even knew whats happening just looking at one's expression.
Is language good? Not really. If language use in a wrong way, it'll bring to the negative side.
Last year, there's international exchanged students in my high school. I get to know few Japanese friends. So, here comes a day, they came and ask me whats 'bodoh' (stupid). I was like .... what? who tell you this? Then I know what happened, a gang of gangster keep on yelling 'bodoh' to them. They were so pissed when they realize 'bodoh' means 'baka' in Japanese. In Asia, we just knew a few of Japanese words, such as 'baka', 'aligatogozaimasteh' (thank you) , 'shumimashi' (sorry). Of course, the one we remember the most is 'baka, rite. I do think its quiet rude and disrespect. In addition, we spoil our country reputation.
Some said : careful with your words, it might just bring down a nation.
Monday, September 15, 2008
How do we communicate with chimpanzee?
I went an animal exhibition and there i learned how to communicate with chimpanzee. Have you ever wondered how chimps communicate? Chimpanzees communicate using facial gestures, loud sounds, and sign language.They have large brains and extremely smart. When they warn each other or fight, they usually scream or make loud noises. They give out loud hoots when they fighting or when arguing over little food. When they r scared, their lips move and they start screaming. When they r relaxed their face is very calm. A chimp’s full open grin means that he or she is scared or very excited.
Chimps also have senses that alike to people. They communicate without using symbolic communication. Each chimp has their own hoot, so the other chimp can be identified. All zookeepers know this. When a chimpanzee gets attacked, they usually start screaming to tell the attacker that if you come closer, you will get hurt. Chimps good at seeing the behavior of others. They learn sign language also. Chimps communicate with us using sign language, which I think is great because then they can know that we r not goin to hurt them.
posted by
chuan kim
Chimps also have senses that alike to people. They communicate without using symbolic communication. Each chimp has their own hoot, so the other chimp can be identified. All zookeepers know this. When a chimpanzee gets attacked, they usually start screaming to tell the attacker that if you come closer, you will get hurt. Chimps good at seeing the behavior of others. They learn sign language also. Chimps communicate with us using sign language, which I think is great because then they can know that we r not goin to hurt them.
posted by
chuan kim
How do we communicate with chimpanzee?
I went an animal exhibition and i learned how to communicate with chimpanzee. Have u ever communicate with chimpanzee? Chimpanzees communicate using facial gestures, loud sounds, and sign language. When they warn each other or fight, they usually scream or make loud noises. They give out loud hoots when they r fighting or when arguing over little food. When they r scared, their lips move and they start screaming. When they r relaxed their face is very calm. A chimp’s full open grin means that he or she is scared or very excited.
Chimps also have senses that are alike to people. They also communicate without using symbolic communication. Each chimp has their own hoot, so the other chimp can be identified. All zookeepers know this. When a chimpanzee gets attacked, they usually start screaming to tell the attacker that if you come closer, u will get hurt. Chimps r good at seeing the behavior of others. They learn sign language also. Chimps can communicate with us using sign language, which I think is great because then they can know that we r not goin to hurt them
Chimps also have senses that are alike to people. They also communicate without using symbolic communication. Each chimp has their own hoot, so the other chimp can be identified. All zookeepers know this. When a chimpanzee gets attacked, they usually start screaming to tell the attacker that if you come closer, u will get hurt. Chimps r good at seeing the behavior of others. They learn sign language also. Chimps can communicate with us using sign language, which I think is great because then they can know that we r not goin to hurt them
Sunday, September 14, 2008
traffic police and communication
as a driver who goes on the road nearly everyday to come to college, i would often encounter traffic police at certain traffic lights attempting to control the morning rush hour. but after being in the rush so many times and observing how the police work, i wonder, do they communicate with each other at all?
i find that there are plenty of road that have more traffic lights than necessary, all coming one after the other, much like the picture below, but of course with more distance in between.
and sometimes, each of these traffic lights will have one or two traffic police handling the traffic. what completely puzzles me is that when the policeman at the first traffic light lets the traffic flow, the second one doesn't follow and all the cars end up pilling at the second traffic light until there is no longer any space for any more cars from the first traffic light to pass. why isn't there some sort of coordination between the police from both traffic lights?
i'm pretty sure each of the police officers carry one of those radio walkie-talkie things...so why don't they communicate with each other to ensure a smoother traffic flow? i presume that their presence there at the traffic lights are to reduce the jams, but what is the point if at one traffic light the cars move only to stop at the other and wait just as long?
so, i hope that traffic policemen and women would actually take measures to remedy this, i.e using their communication devices. but at the same time, i'm not counting on it.
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
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Reference: http://images.google.com.my/imgres?imgurl=http://features.csmonitor.com/innovation/wp-content/assets/6/155/picture1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://features.csmonitor.com/innovation/2008/05/29/a-bright-idea-for-easing-traffic/&h=320&w=607&sz=39&hl=en&start=91&um=1&usg=__zKAWQkplh9iaWGRNB2Al2cJeefY=&tbnid=vUIZ0HUkuFlo7M:&tbnh=72&tbnw=136&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtraffic%2Blights%2Bone%2Bafter%2Banother%26start%3D90%26ndsp%3D18%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26channel%3Ds%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN
i find that there are plenty of road that have more traffic lights than necessary, all coming one after the other, much like the picture below, but of course with more distance in between.
and sometimes, each of these traffic lights will have one or two traffic police handling the traffic. what completely puzzles me is that when the policeman at the first traffic light lets the traffic flow, the second one doesn't follow and all the cars end up pilling at the second traffic light until there is no longer any space for any more cars from the first traffic light to pass. why isn't there some sort of coordination between the police from both traffic lights?
i'm pretty sure each of the police officers carry one of those radio walkie-talkie things...so why don't they communicate with each other to ensure a smoother traffic flow? i presume that their presence there at the traffic lights are to reduce the jams, but what is the point if at one traffic light the cars move only to stop at the other and wait just as long?
so, i hope that traffic policemen and women would actually take measures to remedy this, i.e using their communication devices. but at the same time, i'm not counting on it.
Post written by
Tham Sue Fern
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Reference: http://images.google.com.my/imgres?imgurl=http://features.csmonitor.com/innovation/wp-content/assets/6/155/picture1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://features.csmonitor.com/innovation/2008/05/29/a-bright-idea-for-easing-traffic/&h=320&w=607&sz=39&hl=en&start=91&um=1&usg=__zKAWQkplh9iaWGRNB2Al2cJeefY=&tbnid=vUIZ0HUkuFlo7M:&tbnh=72&tbnw=136&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtraffic%2Blights%2Bone%2Bafter%2Banother%26start%3D90%26ndsp%3D18%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26channel%3Ds%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN
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