What would I do if I had 24 hours to live?

XOXO Its phoebe here, your sources to understand 'human' arround us.

Few weeks back, Mr M asked me to write an essay, " What would I do if I had 24 hours to live?".

An image of my family came out immediately in my mind. Especially my mum. Why? I'll tell you why.

In my essay, I mentioned ... " I'll have few hours of conversation with my mum, because we often talk, or see each other. I'll tell her all my feelings of how painfull am I to have her to control my whole life. How confused am I to felt like I seems to hav no mother..." Sounds pathethic right? Haha... I beg some of you might feel the same way I do, Instead nowadays, parents work extremely hard for $$.

What was I trying to bring out from what I've just wrote is... Comunication is Not simple. At least between me and my mum. People used to thought that "communication" is just to talk. NO! There is communication skills when we talk.

Most people assume that communication is an aptotude that people develop with out the need for training-rather like breathing. After all, we've been swapping ideas with one another since early childhood, and there are lots of people who communicate pretty well without ever having had a class on the subject. Though a gross oversimplification as a natural ability seems accurate, it's actually a gross oversimplification.** There're some people who's always surround by so many others people. Let's say Jenny, she have tons of friends. People like to follow her, talk to her, play with her...why? Because she's FUN. She knows how to make jokes arround, how to communicate correctly with each one of her friends. BUT, not that everyone have such ability, for some people, you have to train their communication skills, and the rest just wanna be 'loner' whole life.

In my case, I have different status in different places. In college, I'm calm,quiet,and always alone and tired (recently). In home, I'm calm, never speak (coz no one in home) , In church/outside, I'll be wild, crazy, always laugh, happy-yuppy... I choose to be the 'invisible' character in home coz there's no one in home and i wanna to be the 'no one' too. When finally I have the chance to talk with my mum, its seems weird...sounds like strangers' conversation. Maybe, we both have already used to these kind of conversation. I do believe that more communication is better than none. It brings us to each other's world. It do affect children's mind and their characteristic. Just like the picture (top) shows. Try to think, why the kid said so? Maybe, she don't feel any love from her parents? Maybe, her parents often talk but always argue? Maybe her single-parents friends are better than her. Maybe...think about it.

I choose to 'free' myself when I'm with my friends and buddies coz...I don't know. Its just I don't have to pretend or wear any mask infront of them. Its all me, the real me. Friends used to call me "joker", not that I'm evil like joker but I make a lot a lots of jokes and we laugh all the time beause of my jokes. I'm such as Jenny (top), but only when I'm with my buddies.

Believe it or not, it all starts with communication.

**N. Coupland, H. Giles, and J.M. Wiemann, eds.,"Miscommunication" and Problematic Talk (Newbury Park, CA: Sage, 1991).